Something has been in the air lately, perhaps even inscribed in the stars, and it feels like a very healing energy floating around. I have noticed this essence newly weaving itself in my personal relationships as well as in those of close friends around me. The art of healing can happen in two ways: individually or through your community. While healing individually is essential for living a happy, healthy, and independent life, the true magic happens when we become vulnerable enough to heal through our close relationships to live a life in harmony with others, and align ourselves with our highest relationship path. There are certain things we cannot heal on our own, as it takes the gentle touch of an intimate partner or friend to open up relationship wounds from the past that need restoration. The key is to let go of judgment, and find the lesson in empathy and healing for yourself and for others.
While I have been discerning in choosing loving and nurturing friendships throughout my life's journey, I cannot say that has always been the case in matters of my heart. Choosing captivating players skilled in the art of emotional distance and troubled souls unwilling to confront their shadows within has been quite the skill of mine. Leaving me wounded and patiently waiting for the vibrant, bright, beautiful, and loving soul I knew I deserved to be eloquently placed in my path. Little did I know he was right by my side all along, tenderly holding my hand through every twist of fate, transitioning seamlessly from a cherished best friend to a captivating lover.
In the embrace of this partnership, I've discovered a haven where safety, love, trust, and nurturing intertwine like a romantic symphony. It’s a sanctuary unlike any other, where we write the rules of our kingdom and hold the utmost respect for each other's needs, illuminating the path to relationship healing and inspiring me to extend that warmth to those around me. Allow me to illuminate a few key aspects that have ignited my journey of love and healing, casting a gentle glow on the transformative power of shared connection.
The Art of Communication - The canopy that shields our relationship from any downpours, storms, and swirling winds that may cross our path. Let’s take a look at the magical foundation that renders our umbrella impermeable to destruction.
The Art of Listening - Who knew that at the age of 25 years old, I would encounter a remarkable moment? It marked the first time any of my partners embraced silence, put their emotions aside, and wholeheartedly absorbed every word I spoke. There were no preconceived responses, no questioning challenging the validity of my words, no defensive posturing to negate my truth. Defend, defend, defend, is all I had ever known until this point. Be it through family bonds or past loves, it’s no wonder my throat chakra found itself so blocked, leaving me struggling to vocalize my emotions for so many years. Embracing silence to absorb your beloved, friend, or family member is not just a gift; it transcends into a cherished skill, an enchanting artform, and has become an intimate necessity in my world.
The Art of Expression - Another marker that has metamorphosed my world and opened my heart and soul to the realms of true happiness & freedom. No longer tethered to how someone didn’t make me feel good, to experiences that fell short of desire, or words that didn’t strike my spirit so agreeably. Feel it deeply, speak it, and let that shit go. No more concealing, no more festering emotions, no more bottling up until, in one moment, you explode in some crazy drastic way due to the other person leaving a trail of crumbs on the floor, leaving them wounded and sad in the midst of savoring their favorite granola bar. Any, and I repeat any, negative feeling I experience emerges about 5 seconds after my partner and I find ourselves in a safe space to talk. It doesn’t matter how large or small you may think it is or if it really even matters; if it is occupying any ounce of brain space, let that shit out. This applies to positive feelings and experiences as well. My mind unfolds itself, allowing its pages to be visible for another soul to read. Gone are the days of pondering for hours or days before expressing, attempting to solve the problem solitarily. No, you cannot solve a communal issue by yourself. Most likely, it’s not just going to pass either. Grab your friend, grab your partner, grab your mother, lovingly enveil your emotions with every detail, as urgently as you can. The art of expression has freed me from a host of emotional health issues that can occur when we hold on to things.
The Art of “I” Statements - A simple shift in framing your sentences is a beautiful way to infuse your connections and lovingly resolve any issues that may arise. This shift can change how your confidant perceives your words—from feeling attacked to feeling respected and heard—ultimately guiding them to listen, empathize, validate, and create a safe space for deepened connection and healing. This is the unique power of the ‘I’ statement. Practice this art by replacing accusatory phrases such as “you did this,” with phrases marked with the vulnerability of “I felt this.” It’s a practice that not only sets a beautiful tone for even the most challenging conversations but also elevates you beyond the realm of victimhood, allowing you to be the hero in your narrative.
The Art of Truth - The art of truth unfolds within our connection when we realize the existence of multiple truths, few of them objective, in the delicate dance of relationships. Each of us, as bioindividual beings, contribute diverse perspectives, beliefs, feelings, experiences, and needs to the canvas of our shared realm. The moment I entered the door into our shared kingdom with my partner, everything metamorphosed into this beautiful, multicolored microcosm. In our book, there is very little black and white, and rights and wrongs are mutually agreed upon. Battles are nonexistent because honoring each other’s truths becomes a sacred dance. Although my beloved and I may live the same day, our experiences paint entirely unique canvases. While our spiritual beliefs may not intertwine flawlessly, we are able to recognize the beauty in their divergence, honor the sanctity of our own truths and shine brightly alongside each other, adding more depth and richness to our unique connection. Instances that might cause hurt are approached with understanding, where he validates my feelings even if unintentionally hurtful, and I acknowledge his sincere emotions. It’s in the delicate dance, where we honor each other’s truths, that we find a shared view point, observe both sides, and converge on an oban objective truth.
The Art of Empathy & Validation - The pink hues reflected off the art of truth. Experiencing my words not only heard but felt, empathized with, and tenderly validated is like receiving the most potent elixir of healing. For the first time in my life, I am free from the weight of feeling or being deemed ’crazy,’ especially when sensing that my beloved might be romantically involved with another woman – hint hint; a trigger from the past. This newfound sanctuary allows the alchemy of my shadows into radiant light. Instead of being met with judgment, I am embraced with grace and love, creating an intimate space for my partner and I to explore the origins of these intense feelings, emotions, or beliefs projected onto him. Every emotion holds a profound root cause, and to disregard or judge them is a disservice to our connections - be it with friends, family, lovers, and, most importantly, ourselves. Choose to honor each emotion and feeling you encounter, and witness the blossoming of your world.
May the gentle breeze of universal healing infuse your mind with the wisdom to illuminate your relationships with the most radiant light. Allowing you and your connections to paint the life of your dreams, hand and hand and side by side. Healthy relationships are the vibrant threads that bring forth our truest well-being. Embrace the journey together, we are not meant to navigate life’s path alone. If you seek support in fostering flourishing relationships and elevating your overall well-being, join me for a complimentary Reforma consultation call. Together, let us soar to new heights.
